Nesting by Roisín O’Donnell

An extraordinary and urgent debut by a prize-winning Irish writer, Nesting introduces an unforgettable new voice in fiction.

On a bright spring afternoon in Dublin, Ciara Fay makes a split-second decision that will change everything. Grabbing an armful of clothes from the washing line, Ciara straps her two young daughters into her car and drives away. Head spinning, all she knows for certain is that home is no longer safe.

This was meant to be an escape. But with dwindling savings, no job, and her family across the sea, Ciara finds herself adrift, facing a broken housing system and the voice of her own demons. As summer passes and winter closes in, she must navigate raising her children in a hotel room, searching for a new home and dealing with her husband Ryan’s relentless campaign to get her to come back. Because leaving is one thing, but staying away is another.

What will it take for Ciara to rebuild her life? Can she ever truly break away from Ryan’s control – and what will be the cost?

Tense, beautiful, and underpinned by an unassailable love, hope and resilience, this is the story of one woman’s bid to start over.

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Nesting is one of the novels I picked up at this year’s Hay Festival.  I didn’t know much about it prior to the event, but the conversation between Roisín O’Donnell and Cristina Rivera Garza was absolutely brilliant – engaging, intelligent, and thought-provoking.  There was absolutely no hesitation on my part in running to the Festival bookshop after the event to pick up a copy. 

Nesting introduces us to Ciara, a young mum of two with a third on the way.  While this should be a happy time, the reader quickly learns that Ciara is terrified of her husband, Ryan.  The whys and wherefores aren’t revealed immediately, but he’s clearly controlling and manipulative – prone to giving or withholding affection as it suits him and volatile in his moods, belittling Ciara constantly and blaming her for his behaviour.  Ciara is also entirely dependent on Ryan – she has no job or income of her own, her family live in the UK, and Ryan cut her off from her friends a long time ago.  It’s an awful situation and I couldn’t help but admire her courage in making the decision to get out when the latest incident pushes her too far.

What follows is Ciara’s journey as she tries to make a new life for herself and her daughters, first applying for emergency housing and then seeking work so that she can get a place of her own.  Throughout it all, Ryan casts a long shadow.  He can’t accept that she’s left, and sways between begging her to come back to threatening her if she doesn’t.  It took a lot of courage to leave, but it also takes a great deal of strength not to return.  It’s not plain sailing, and Ciara’s journey has its inevitable ups and downs.  I felt fully invested in Ciara’s situation – there were moments when I genuinely feared that she might return, particularly as Ryan becomes increasingly manipulative in his attempts to get his own way.

Despite the subject matter, there are moments of warmth throughout, particularly in Ciara’s interactions with her two adorable daughters.  Even as things go from bad to worse, Ciara constantly seeks to protect her daughters and to shield them the worst of their father’s behaviour.  How successful she is debatable, and her daughters clearly feel some of Ciara’s discomfort even if they don’t fully understand it.  I loved the portrayal of her relationship with her girls and the small beacon of light they provide.  Much of her courage comes from her desire to do what’s best for them, even as Ryan tries to use them to get to Ciara, knowing that they are her weak spot.  That he’s willing to use them in that way tells you everything you need to know about him. 

Nesting goes a long way to highlight the realities of what it is to live with intimate partner abuse, be that mental or physical.  Throughout the novel, Ciara struggles to articulate why she left and what was wrong, often wondering if she is the problem rather than him.  The reader sees Ryan’s influence in these thoughts, but it’s a real battle for Ciara to realise that and to understand and appreciate just how strong she is to have left.  She often shies away from admitting to her experiences, even with those who would help her if they knew the truth of her situation, seemingly afraid that she’ll be judged for it or that her situation isn’t that bad just because he’s never actually hit her.    

Nesting is an extraordinary novel and all the more so for being a debut. It captures realistically the situation that some find themselves in and how hard it is to extract oneself from those circumstances. Insightful, compassionate, and thought-provoking, I can’t wait to see what Roisín O’Donnell does next.